Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on the Anger Trap

This week’s quote comes from a favorite book I regularly read: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Anger usually results in pain, frustration, and a loss of clarity and connection. It is an emotion that is the worst kind of fuel. We all deserve better, as do our co-workers, team members, families, and friends.

Have you noticed that the people around you who are always angry want you to join them? It’s usually true. Angry people find other like-minded people. They want to be miserable together and are always recruiting. Don’t get drawn in. Remember, your anger is their fuel.

The first principle in Stoicism, as this quote from Ward Farnsworth discusses, is that you don’t react to events but instead react to your judgments about them. So choose to respond without anger. Don’t fuel the rage, and don’t fall into their trap.

Weekly Quote: James Clear on Being Proud of Yourself

This week’s quote comes from James Clear on Instagram, asking a Monday morning question.

I like this question because it goes explicitly beyond the idea of being happy or well paid or on the receiving end of professional or personal accolades. Instead, it’s about how you feel internally, regardless of external feedback.

This type of personal reflection might be challenging with all the responsibilities and distractions in your life. Do it anyway. Finding time and space for yourself is a worthwhile investment.

Want to give it a try? Do the following: Block out an hour on the calendar. Find a quiet place. Grab a pen and notebook, write this or a similar question on a blank page, and sit there. You may be surprised by what you end up with.

Weekly Quote: Steven Pressfield on Starting your Symphony

This week’s quote is from Steven Pressfield’s book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, which I’ve written about before.

I've found that procrastination is sneaky because it sometimes disguises itself as planning or ideation, two essential aspects of the creative process. It's generally easier to think about something than actually do it, and taking the time to think about something offers more time for the resistance to get stronger. So, the longer I wait, the less likely I am to succeed..

This site began publication in January 2022, although I started planning it in October. We had a newborn, and there were plenty of legitimate considerations to consider before embarking on a new project requiring time and attention. Still, I know that some of that time was the resistance manifested as procrastination and fear. I had many internal arguments about why I couldn't get this site off the ground, and the voice of resistance was cunning and powerful. Yet, despite not knowing precisely what 24 Letters would become, I knew it needed to be created, so I launched. I can thank my family and friends who cheered me on, creators who inspired me, and books like Courage is Calling, The War of Art, and Soundtracks for helping me get here.

Pressfield talks about how the resistance gets even more potent when something is important and meaningful. I didn't realize it then, but creating this site has been vital to my happiness and growth over the last eight months. It has allowed me to connect with new people, learn new skills, grow new ideas, and think in new ways. This has been transformational, so the resistance was exceptionally loud!


I recommend following @steven_pressfield on Instagram. He's creating videos about overcoming resistance and getting stuff done. I like his style and his writing. Check out some of his historical fiction, too. It's really well done.

How do you overcome resistance and get projects shipped and that symphony written? Let me know.

Weekly Quote: Ward Farnsworth on the First Principle of Practical Stoicism

This week’s quote comes from The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical Users Manual by Ward Farnsworth. I heard the author on a recent episode of The Daily Stoic podcast, and based on that conversation this book was an immediate purchase for me.

The judgments are up to us. This is a profound reminder. It’s easy to forget that while we have very little control over what happens in our lives, we have an enormous ability to control how we react to our interpretation of what has happened. In conversations with friends and colleagues, I’ve struggled to explain my understanding of this part clearly. Ward has done it better and more succinctly than I could.

I am enjoying the style of this book a lot. The various chapters include relevant quotes from the original Stoics and other, more modern philosophers. Perhaps unsurprisingly, using quotes and extrapolating on them really works for me. Who knew!

If you pick this book up, send me a note and tell me what you think.

Weekly Quote: Annie Murphy Paul on Naming the Feeling

This week, we have another quote from one of my favorite books The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul.

What's wrong?

This is a question we've all heard and said countless times. Think of how often this query has been directed at you, and think about your answer. How often were you actually able to articulate what was going on? Did you respond with nothing, I'm fine, or another dismissive throw-away line? Did you make a joke, or perhaps just started listing a bunch of semi-random annoyances that came to mind? I would be surprised if one or more of these responses didn't sound familiar to you from a recent conversation.

We need a better question, something more focused on a person's present feeling. As this week's quote states, scientific research has found that naming a feeling reduces the body's stress response, helping us broaden our ability to cope with either the situation or the emotion causing the stress. So saying what are you feeling right now or how are you feeling seems a more direct approach to giving a person the space to begin figuring it out. It also signals that you are listening, and that's helpful too.

Asking about a person's feelings at work feels a little fraught. But, having done it many times with team members or colleagues who were struggling, sometimes at a crisis level, I've seen it help. I appreciate being on the receiving end of this conversation, and I believe others usually feel similarly. It doesn't always work. When it doesn’t, I remind myself that most things don't work all the time and I take a moment of reflection to examine if I could have done something differently.

Frequently, we are more comfortable with this approach around our kids or family members. Parents know that naming the feeling is the foundation of helping children learn how to develop their emotional intelligence. So it's less of asking about what's wrong and more a complex and open-ended question about thoughts and feelings that sparks a dialog.

I know that what's wrong is a ubiquitous phrase in our culture that isn't going away anytime soon. I'm trying to ask a better question, and I encourage you to do this too. Try it. Start with someone you trust. It isn't always easy to dig in, yet it can be a rewarding experience to help someone resolve a stressful situation. Are you ready to listen?

Weekly Quote: James Clear on Systematizing The Goal Process

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes about how our goals are only as successful as our systems.

This idea and the book's premise generally have me thinking more about the journey of accomplishing something important. At its core, a goal is essentially a specific ambition that is easy to express but takes actual effort and planning to complete. Developing a good goal requires consideration of the systems that can be implemented. Otherwise, it may never move beyond an ambitious idea.

In addition to planning systems and building habits to get things done, motivation is a factor. The weekly quote from a few weeks ago was from Get it Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation, and it was about creating targets for goals - essentially, systematizing the goal process. This is why the SMART framework is prevalent in many corporate settings. It's a system that works pretty well for building actionable goals in large organizations.

I'm rethinking my process because I'm finding that I need more clarity on some of my goals. What are you doing to develop your systems and achieve your goals?

Weekly Quote: Adam Grant on Being Actively Open-Minded

This week, I’m sharing another quote from Think Again by Adam Grant. It’s a book that has stuck with me since I read it last year, and I regularly go back through and reread sections and review the highlights I have captured in Readwise.

I like how Grant uses roles that we are all familiar with to help us best approach effective learning and communication methods. Early in the book, he writes about Phil Tetlock , a fellow Wharton Professor, who discovered that people frequently fall into the role of either politician, preacher, or prosecutor when discussing or thinking about something. Adam takes this concept and expands on it by writing that the ideal role is that of a scientist in search of the truth.

I think looking at this through a lens of humility is helpful. I may have ideas or thoughts about a given topic, and I want to test them and see how they stand up. This helps everyone, including me, get closer to the facts. This can also feel very vulnerable, so it is essential to realize that it’s okay to be wrong. Also, if you see someone approaching a question or idea as a scientist, support them in the process.

Being actively open-minded takes exercise, like so much of what is good for us, and I’m continuing to work on it. How often are you searching for reasons why you are wrong?

Weekly Quote: The Science of Motivation

I recently began reading Get it Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation by Ayelet Fishbach. I’ve heard Ayelet’s name mentioned by psychologist and Grit author Angela Duckworth on the No Stupid Questions podcast. I enjoy Angela’s perspective, so this felt like a great book to pick up.

As a leader, I have found meaningful and effective goal setting with team members to be a challenging task to do well. I’ve thought a lot about it because I was responsible for twenty annual performance reviews in my most recent position. They required goals aligned with the business needs and individual engagement goals. It was a lot of work to do well, and it was a personal priority that each team member felt like I was giving them my attention and care. I think I did a pretty good job, but I’d like to learn more.

I’m enjoying that Get it Done delves into the science behind motivation and, inversely, demotivation. It’s a complicated subject, and I’m already learning a lot, challenging some of my own beliefs and practices, and taking notes on how to get better at goal setting.

Weekly Quote: Courage is Calling by Ryan Holiday

This week’s quote comes from Ryan Holiday’s latest book, Courage is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave. Ryan is one of my favorite authors. His books and emails are always on my reading and re-reading list, and I frequently recommend The Daily Stoic to friends who want an introduction to Stoic philosophy. It’s where I started.

In Courage is Calling, Ryan writes about many aspects of courage, including difference between being scared and feeling fear. It’s one of the ideas from this book that I’ve really been chewing on. He quotes William Faulkner, who wrote a similar sentiment about walking in the woods, “Be scared. You can’t help that. But don’t be afraid.”

Before reading this book, I hadn’t deeply considered the difference between fear and being scared. Fear is more conceptual, and being scared is an emotional response the body experiences. It’s helpful to have such a distinction clearly laid out by a thinker that I respect, to understand that it’s okay to be scared, and then it’s essential to act anyway, not let fear paralyze you and prevent you from achieving what needs to be done.

I’m doing my best to remember this quote when I am heading into the unknown and begin to feel dread. I’ll allow myself to be scared, but I will fight the fear.

Weekly Quote: The Itch of Happiness

This week’s quote comes from 10% Happier by Dan Harris, a founder, author, podcaster, and former ABC News anchor.


I found this book on Audible several years ago and listened intently to Dan’s journey from his on-air panic attack in 2004 through his journey towards having a better mental balance through work/life balance and meditation.

I know these “if only” thoughts all too well and I’m sure you’ve experienced them too. They usually come by when I’m tired, or maybe at 3 am when I happen to be up with one of my kids. Either way, when they come they hit hard.

Pursuing happiness can find us with blinders on, so eager and focused on that one thing that we miss the forest through the trees. We don’t see other sources of happiness around us, we don’t find the balance that may be right there because we just can’t look around.

It’s good to be motivated, to want to succeed, and find happiness and connection. But, as Dan writes, we have to watch that itch because it can be all-consuming.

Weekly Quote: Jan-Benedict Steenkamp On Humility

This week’s quote comes from the book Time To Lead by Jan-Benedict Steenkamp.

My workflow for quote posts is to pull what I’m going to write about at the beginning of the week, so I can spend some time reflecting on it. Humility is a complicated concept, one that has been around for millennia and has been the focus of some of history’s most respected philosophers and thinkers. So I was struggling a bit to wrap my brain around it.

Then, I had a breakthrough.

I spent yesterday afternoon at the playground with my wife and two children, enjoying the sunshine and breeze as Spring finally arrives in New England. As we returned home to prepare for dinner and the nightly routine, I thought about this quote and realized that I wasn’t thinking about myself at all at the playground. I wasn’t thinking about the projects I’m working on or the tasks I need to get done around the house. I had entirely focused my mind on my family’s happiness. I was present.

Humility starts here for me, with my family, and not just thinking about what they need but what I can offer them. Who I can be for them. How I can be a better father and husband, and how it all comes together to help me be a better person.

I’ve tried to express humility in my leadership style by doing my best to understand what the teams I work with need from me, by being forgiving when people make mistakes and supportive when times are tough.

I know I still have a lot to learn in all realms of my life around humility. As I said, it’s complicated. To take a deeper look at what it means to me, I’ve created a Day One entry on the subject and look forward to further reflection. I think I’ll be writing on this topic again in the future.

What does humility mean to you?

Weekly Quote: Coleman Hawkins on Making Mistakes

This week’s quote, by the jazz legend Coleman Hawkins*, reminds us that if we aren’t stepping out of our comfort zones, we’re probably missing out on opportunities to grow.

Mistakes are the language of growth. Starting a new job, shipping a new app, building a new team, being in a relationship, being a parent, so many things are hard to do. You have to stretch, and you’re going to mess up. It’s what you do with the experience that matters. I’ve written about getting it wrong before, and how learning from that is essential. It’s a universal concept and one that is worth remembering.

It’s also important to know that it’s okay to be cautious. Maybe it’s a high-stakes situation, or you’re at a point where you need to slow down. That’s okay, embrace it and know that when you’re ready to try something new, you will, mistakes and all.

*Go check out Body & Soul by the Hawk, it’s a great collection of his work.

Weekly Quote: Ray Dalio on Maturity

This week’s quote comes from Ray Dalio’s book Principles, which I mostly consumed via audiobook during the long commute to and from my previous job. However, I’m planning a deeper dive on my Kindle soon.

It’s challenging to imagine what you may have to give up in the future when you’re focused on the present, and the idea of saying no to something now to hold space for better opportunities certainly takes practice.

I’m still maturing in this area of my life. I like to get engaged and learn and have felt the rush of excitement and, in some cases, flattery when someone asks for my help on something.

As I strive to become a better decision-maker in this area, I’m learning to ask myself in these situations the following questions and then taking some time to consider the answers honestly.

1. How will this fit into my life?

   Check in with yourself and your family and see what’s possible. If you’re returning from parental leave, maybe it’s not the right time to jump into a new project which will likely increase your work and stress load. If you have some time and flexibility and want to get involved in something new, go for it!

2. Do I have the capacity to complete this and do it to my standards?

   It is easy to overcommit and underestimate the time needed to complete a task. Unfortunately, as a species, we are good at doing this. It’s called the Planning Fallacy, and it’s real. Capacity, a term I’m using to represent mental and physical energy, can be hard to measure. Do you have margin in your life, and how much of that are you willing to give up? Margin equals time, and time is so important.

3. Does it help me learn something new?

It isn’t about being selfish. It’s about wanting to stay engaged in something while being able to learn something new. Not all projects or opportunities will tick this as a yes, and that’s okay. Saying no to this is not an automatic pass for an opportunity. However, if the first two are leaning towards a no and this one isn’t screaming yes, I have a good idea of how to proceed.

As I said, I’m trying to mature and learn how better to find the right opportunities. It isn’t always easy, but I think the three questions act as a framework to help me succeed.

Weekly Quote: Less is More

This week’s quote comes from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. This is a book that I’ve read multiple times and continue to find new wisdom and ideas every time I pick it up.

I’m working on trying to say less while learning to trust that those who are listening will ask for what they need. I still find myself sliding back into explainer mode sometimes, particularly in email. I desire to be helpful, but my attempt likely hits somewhere between a lack of focused thought and condescension.

It’s a balance, like so many aspects of communication. Trying to make expectations known or be supportive of someone without writing them a novel via email that they won’t read anyway.

Sometimes, less is more.

Weekly Quote: Rethinking is a Skill

Another quote this week from Think Again by Adam Grant.  I like the idea that rethinking, a critical part of leadership growth in my experience, is both a mindset and a skill set.

I’ve found that one of the most important skills for rethinking is active listening.  It’s important to hear those who present a different perspective and process what they’re saying instead of just waiting for the chance to respond.  I know this skill can be challenging to maintain, especially in high-stress situations, but it’s worth trying.

Time for reflection is also helpful.  It gives room to consider further the new information you have and decide what other data you may need to make the best decision.  Because rethinking is a form of decision-making, the entire process can help us learn and grow, so let’s embrace that. 

As Adam says, these skills get rusty.  What are you doing to get them out of the shed?

Weekly Quote: Make a List

This week’s quote is from Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking.

I love lists. I always have. Creating lists brings me a sense of control and focus that is so empowering.

I use digital and analog tools to collect data and am pleased with this hybrid approach. Tasks end up in Todoist, and items that aren’t as fully formed or action-oriented find their home in Craft.

I find lists to be especially useful as a tool to slow my mind down during a stressful or unexpected challenge. I will take five or ten minutes, find a quiet place, and write everything down in these situations.

I think of this as reactive list building, although it’s essentially a brain dump, a concept popularized by David Allen’s Getting Things Done. I find that doing this helps me sort out a situation by getting organized, and it helps bring a sense of clarity to the challenges ahead.

Are you a list builder? What tools do you use? I’m going to write more about this in the future and would love to hear from you.

Weekly Quote: Fill The Glass

This week’s quote comes from Donald Kaberuka, an economist and former president of the African Development Bank and current chair of the board of the Global Fund to Fight AIDS. I discovered it in an issue of James Clear’s excellent 3-2-1 Newsletter.

Imagine if you walked into your next senior leadership meeting and the only item on the agenda was a significant crisis that needed resolution? Now, imagine the facilitator started things off with this quote?

What Mr. Kaberuka is expressing here exemplifies confidence and a focused attempt at finding the right solution. If you lead a team, this approach is invaluable because they need to believe that there is a solution and that you will lead them to search for it.

Of course, you need to believe it too. Reading the quote is helpful, but holding onto the inspiration it offers is vital for success and growth. How do you focus on filling the glass? Let me know.

Weekly Quote: Learn from Being Wrong

This week’s quote comes from renowned author, economist, psychologist, and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman.

I’ve found the long-term gains from learning something new through being wrong are significant and worth the potential embarrassment. The ability to change one’s opinion or grow in a new area is, to me at least, more important than perseverating about that time I advocated for an approach during a leadership meeting and ended up being wrong.

Try to get it right, but don’t be afraid to be wrong. Remember to give others some grace when they get it wrong too. In my experience, people respect those who can admit when they are wrong while being supportive of others on their journey too.

Weekly Quote: Suffering our Imagination

This quote connects nicely with last week’s entry about focusing on what we can control. Our ability to tell ourselves stories about the future is powerful, and we usually use it to our detriment even though the worst-case scenarios rarely come to pass.

A context shift can help us deal with these runaway thoughts, especially the big, persistent narratives that just won’t go away. I find reading a book or listening to some new music helpful because it provides some distraction in a low-stakes way and gives my brain time to reflect and engage with the subject in a new way. Doing something a little different can help bring a fresh perspective to the situation, making all the difference and helping to reset things for the better.

How do you handle this? Let me know.

Weekly Quote: Focus on What You Can Control

This week’s quote from The Daily Stoic applies to every aspect of our lives. I happened to slip on some ice earlier this week and ended up breaking my wrist. There isn’t much about that which I have control over.

I’m focusing on what I can control. I’m focused on healing, supporting my family, learning how to type (and do everything else) with one hand, and avoiding those slippery spots. How are you dealing with uncertainty? Let me know.