Weekly Quote: Brené Brown on Showing up and Being Seen
This week’s quote comes from Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr. Brené Brown. Brown is a research professor, author, and well known expert on topics including courage, and vulnerability.
Someone in your life wants more of you. They may not be able to tell you with words yet, so pay attention. If your children are young, their hugs and uncontrolled excitement when you walk through the door is the language they speak most clearly. If they’re teenagers, the thumbs up you get in reply to the loving text you sent or the wry smile your silly dad joke gets should tell you what you need to know. A spouse or friend might text during the day to say they’re thinking of you. At work, a colleague or manager may want to hear from more of you during the weekly zoom call and encourage you to share your opinion when the din of louder voices quiets.
It’s on you to show up and let yourself be seen. It’s a very Stoic idea to show up and understand that the rest is out of your control. When you do, you’ll be rewarded with a deeper connection and a better understanding of your importance to those around you. Take the risk; the reward of connection is worthwhile.
Weekly Quote: William Zinsser on Knowing When to Stop
The writer, editor, and teacher William Zinsser first published On Writing Well: An Informal Guide to Writing Nonfiction in 1976. It’s sold over a million copies, has been updated several times, and is a book I sincerely enjoyed. It ends where it should. There is no flourish or grand finale, just more of what Zinsser does so well, advice from an experienced and passionate writer to those seeking to learn from him.
This idea that the story will tell you where it wants to stop is true in many aspects of our lives. The ending is often there waiting in front of us and is frequently visible to others before we see it. But, once we do, it can be a relief, an end to searching or striving when it makes more sense to slow down and set our gaze upon a new beginning.
Weekly Quote: The 12 Week Year on The Power of Daily Actions
This week’s quote comes from The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months, by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington.
This idea put forth by Moran and Lennington isn’t new, but it’s helpful to be reminded of a simple fact: What you do now impacts your future. So do yourself a favor and invest in your present to improve your outcomes. You will be better for the effort.
Seneca’s Most Powerful Quotes From The Daily Stoic
The Daily Stoic has released a beautifully produced video featuring dozens of quotes from Seneca that I just spent the last five minutes enjoying. If you have a few quiet minutes, take a look. I’ll be sharing more from the Stoics in the coming months, so stay tuned.
Weekly Quote: Ray Dalio on Progress From Pain
This week's quote comes from Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Capital and author of a series of books about principles in life and business.
Mistakes are the language of growth, and we learn so much through productive struggle. There is a lot of power in trying and failing. It's where you better understand your potential and build upon your best self. While It can be a painful experience, one upside may be how much you grow when you come out the other end. Remember that reflection is the key to finding growth and getting through the hard times. It’s how you learn, and how you prepare yourself for what’s to come.
Weekly Quote: Scott Galloway on Taking Uncomfortable Risks
This week’s quote comes from professor, author, and podcaster Scott Galloway on a recent episode of Pivot when asked to offer advice to someone turning 30.
After my second child was born, I adopted a bias toward action. I have a family that needs me to take calculated risks, and I know that ideas I think are worth exploring will go nowhere if I don’t act. What’s the worst that will happen? I might fail or be embarrassed. Who cares? I have more perspective now, and I often consider the words of Kara Swisher, Scott’s cohost on Pivot and a well-regarded journalist, that we will not be here in 100 years.
Take Galloway’s advice. Don’t be foolish, but know that being uncomfortable can be the ticket to transformation.
Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on Realizing Your Full Potential
This week’s quote is from Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.
It's bad enough to let someone else down, but letting yourself down is a failure of possibility. It's a reminder of what you should be doing and who you might become. If that doesn't motivate you to stretch and reach your potential, I'm not sure what will.
Weekly Quote: Morgan Housel on the Journey of Ideas
This week’s quote comes from Morgan Housel on LinkedIn. Morgan is the author of The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness.
Remember this quote the next time you’re setting out to do something. You are rarely “first” to a concept, and your work isn’t immediately invalidated if it’s been explored previously. People interested in you want more of you, and you’ll undoubtedly bring that through your perspective. Part of the success in anything is how you get to the result. Act as an authentic guide for your reader or audience on the trip; it won’t matter how often the road has been traveled because you are there with them.
Weekly Quote: The Daily Creative on Communicating Expectations
At the end of 2022, my friend Jim Eagar, the writer behind the Original Mac Guy, shared a few quotes from the Daily Creative: Find Your Inspiration to Spark Creative Energy and Fight Burnout by Todd Henry. The ideas resonated with me, and I started the new year by adding this book to my daily reading habit.
Except for my current hiatus from work as a stay-at-home dad, I've spent the last couple of decades leading people. One of the most important lessons I have learned about developing team dynamics and reducing frustration and confusion is if expectations aren't shared with clarity and agreed upon by all involved, it's mostly down to luck whether the message will get through. I've yet to speak to a senior leader or read any books on leadership and personal development that follow that technique, and unsurprisingly don’t recommend it here either.
If you’re asking someone to do something, it is your responsibility to make sure there is a conversation and the expectations are clear, otherwise any conflict that may arise is on you.
Weekly Quote: Philip Glass on Getting Better
Here’s a helpful reminder as we approach the new year from the composer and pianist Philip Glass. If you have things you want to start doing or get better at, pursue them. Be consistent and work towards small growth over time. When you fail or make a mistake, keep going.
Practice makes progress has been a recurring theme for me this year, and I know it will be on my mind in the year to come. I encourage you to adopt that mindset too.
Weekly Quote: Ralph Waldo Emerson on the Urgency of Kindness
This week’s quote comes from the influential 19th century American poet, essayist, and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson.
This is a fitting quote to share as we celebrate time with family and friends, some of whom we only see a few times each year. Remember that being kind can change the trajectory of someone’s day and can make you feel pretty great in the process.
Happy holidays, everyone!
Weekly Quote: Simon Sinek on Influencing Human Behavior
This week's quote comes from the book Start With Why by author and public speaker Simon Sinek.
Manipulation is the antithesis of compelling motivation. It is the betrayal of someone's trust and the intentional misunderstanding of empathy. At its worst, it is lazy and mean-spirited. When it's happened to you, you remember. How did it make you feel?
Inspiration is built through meaningful connection. It takes time and transparency. You build it by showing up consistently, listening, and taking action based on what you hear. You grow it by delivering on your promises and apologizing when you make mistakes. It is offering grace while being tough and fair. It's giving everyone an extra break during that really tough week regardless of whether you are supposed to. It's knowing those around you and advocating for them in the meetings they aren't invited to.
As you read these words, you probably already have a picture in your mind of at least one person who has inspired you. See, you remember these people too, and for much better reasons. Now consider this idea: they became better because you allowed them to shine and help guide you.
The best part of inspiration is that it is omnidirectional, and people thrive within its proximity. If you authentically inspire those around you, get ready. You will earn a reputation, and people you don't know will start showing up at your office door because you are a rare gem, and they want to see you shine too. Welcome them, and know that you will be made better every time you do.
Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on Preparing for the Hard
This week’s quote comes from Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.
Setting expectations about something is a big part of managing the outcome. If you assume it will be easy, and it isn’t, that will be much more complicated than if you’re ready for a challenge.
The good news is that most of the time, things aren’t quite as hard as you expect. Still, if you put the time in and study for the test, you’re bound to do better regardless of the actual difficulty level. Over and over, you will find that practice makes progress, and preparation is the winning strategy for most of what you will encounter.
Weekly Quote: Daniel Pink on Gratitude
This week’s quote comes from When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel Pink. It is Thanksgiving week in the United States, and this felt like the right quote to share around a holiday that has turned into a time for reflection and appreciation for so many of us.
Dan ends each chapter of When with a collection of relevant tips called the Time Hackers Handbook, and this quote is pulled from a section dedicated to taking restorative breaks. One way to find restoration is through expressing gratitude, which can be done by taking ten or fifteen minutes to write a few thoughts of appreciation or reach out to friends, family members, or colleagues to reconnect or say thank you. Doing this can improve your mood and strengthen your network at the same time. People want to hear from you, despite what that voice in your head says. Reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while rarely results in anything but happiness.
At the end of every day, I spend a few minutes writing in my gratitude journal. It’s a small act with outsized results. These short entries sometimes spark a note to a friend or family member or introduce a new way of thinking about a situation that provides clarity and some perspective. There is plenty of science behind this idea too. From a Harvard Health article on the subject:
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.
I encourage you to start a gratitude journal. It doesn’t take a lot of time to do, and has the power to help you feel that sense of mighty restoration that this quote references. You don’t need a fancy journal. Just a notebook or even a notecard will do. Every day, record the date and then write about something for which you feel gratitude. After doing this for a few weeks or a month, take a look back, and you’ll feel an extra boost from your collected gratitude and that will fuel your momentum to keep going. Gratitude engages something special inside of you. Make sure you’re listening to what it’s teaching you because you will be better for it.
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Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on Good Deeds
This week’s quote comes from Stillness Is the Key by Ryan Holiday.
The context here is bravery; the reward for hard work internally is a strong sense of accomplishment and inner peace. Externally, pushing past the easy choices can impact those around you by showing them what you’re made of and how much they mean to you. Be brave, and inspire those around you to follow that path.
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Weekly Quote: Steven Pressfield on Boldness
This week's quote comes from The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield. If you're trying to accomplish anything, specifically something creative, you should read this book.
The advice to start "whatever you can do, or dream you can" now, is wise. Waiting for the perfect time to start represents your fear, a desire to manage risks and avoid failure. You cannot have any outcome until you begin, whether it is developing your workshop, writing your novel, or building your app. As Pressfield writes, you gain strength through your boldness. There will be failures, and your courage will help you continue through.
Don't wait. Start right now. Show your work, even when it is a little rough, and people will be there for it. They will forgive the inevitable mistakes because what you have to say is valuable, and your voice outweighs some minor imperfections in your video or on your blog. Remember, perfect is the enemy of the good. Get started, and be brave.
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Weekly Quote: Steven Johnson on Where Good Ideas Come From
This week’s quote comes from Steven Johnson’s Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation. This title came up during a review of another book in a recent Charter Newsletter, and I decided to check it out.
The quote builds on an idea I’ve been thinking and writing about since I started this site, that you learn and grow much more when things go wrong. The idea that mistakes are the language of growth, that we build ourselves through productive struggle and not when things are easy, is such a big part of our personal development
if you’re doing some form of daily review in your journal, I encourage you to ask yourself what went wrong or was especially hard for the day. You can learn a lot from this, particularly how you react against external inputs, which are often beyond your control.
If you examine those reactions, you’re very likely to learn something, particularly if you look over time at trends that may appear. Taking that information and considering how you can build from it is a concrete step in making positive personal improvements.
Weekly Quote: Ryan Holiday on Focus and The Muses
This week’s quote comes from Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.
Focus can be hard to find. There have always been distractions, but they’ve gotten much louder thanks to the tiny supercomputer in your pocket or bag.
Modern tech is a wonder. The Internet has changed our lives and given us so much. Yet, it takes effort to avoid the pitfalls of the always-on data firehose, with apps designed to keep you swiping and engaged, watching, and captivated. Sometimes, there's not much difference between being captivated and captured save for a bit of charm.
It may be something else too. Perhaps your time is not your own anymore. You are busy being a parent, working two jobs to pay the bills, or acting as a caretaker for a family member because they have no one else. When the day ends, you are too exhausted to do anything aside from preparing for the next challenge.
Regardless of what is pulling at you, try to find some time that is yours. Doing so will help you manage your stress and gain perspective. Put your phone away, Take a few deep breaths, daydream a little, go for a short walk, or even write in your journal. Give yourself space to think and listen carefully to what comes to mind.
Make this time a priority. Practice putting the distractions and burdens of life in a metaphorical box, knowing that they will be waiting for you when you're done, and gift yourself one of the most priceless commodities, a little time.
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Weekly Quote: Angela Duckworth, Author of Grit, on Potential
This week’s quote comes from the book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. Duckworth is a professor of psychology at The University of Pennsylvania and a researcher, author, and co-founder of Character Lab, a nonprofit working to advance scientific insights that help children. In addition, Angela cohosts the podcast No Stupid Questions with Stephen Dubner.
Potential is a state of readiness, and you’re probably more prepared than you realize. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to get up and go do whatever it is that you know you should be doing.
Weekly Quote: Dan Harris, Author of 10% Happier, on Mindfulness as an Anecdote to Living Reactively
This week’s quote comes from Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier. I’ve previously quoted the former ABC News Anchor turned founder, author, and podcaster.
The story of Dan’s transformational journey is fascinating. I recommend this one on audio because he narrates the story himself, and unsurprisingly for a former professional broadcaster, he’s pretty good at telling a story, particularly his own!
Reactivity is Volatile
Reactivity is volatile and is rarely productive. You cannot plan for everything, but you do have the ability to understand and make choices about how you react.
This is a foundational element of Stoicism: Your reaction to how you feel when something happens is a behavior that you can learn to largely control. Your anger directed towards a situation at work does nothing but cause you discomfort. The situation does not care how you feel, and while the people involved may, your expression of those emotions typically does little more than inflame a situation.
Practice Makes Progress
You must exercise this ability of control, seek mindfulness, search for perspective, and avoid that volatility. You will not always be successful, but you should try anyway. The saying that practice makes perfect is a misnomer because there is no perfect. Instead, practice makes progress, and progress is meaningful.
In Stoicism, there is an understanding of memento mori, a reflection on one’s mortality. This is not meant to cause despair! Instead, take inspiration because your time is not infinite, and remembering that can help you gather the proper perspective and find a way to stay present.
The Big Idea
Mindfulness is a big idea. It’s a long road to follow. Many more metaphors could fill this space to describe how humans have sought a better understanding of the concept for millennia. Do your part for yourself right now. Read, journal, find some quiet time to think, connect with those who you love or who inspire you, and build your practice.